Twatobahn: Standard Model

by LAZËR

/
  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    This factory standard package includez:

    • Twatobahn CD
    • Full-album download in your choice of digital formatz

    For the ultimate Twatobahn experience, try the Deluxe Model.
    ships out within 2 days

      $8.99 USD

    You own this  

     

  • Digital Album
    Streaming + Download

    Immediate digital download featurez your choice of mp3, FLAC, AAC, etc. Drive safely.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $6.99 USD  or more

    You own this

     

1.
Ah, yes! The Sons of Rhineland are back, you biatches! Y'all better aks somebody! Platinum? Pshh! We 'bout to go plutonium up in this hoe! Peep game! Attention dancing slavez Mr. and Miss-behavez You now rockin' with the Lazër Party boyz We got it made Lear jetz, bodyguardz and black carz Shorty recognize you rollin' with a rap star Helicopter pad in my backyard Next to the jaguar cage and the snack bar Come sail in the Lazër speedboat With Hammel and his seis amigoz Both Johnz, CRT, Crow, Ice von Shredula and Briso Now everywhere that we go We getz chased by a million people You damn right I got a big ol' ego Name another rapper that'll rock a Speedo Briso roll around in diamondz! Ow, so many diamondz! Hey, unlock the bear cage! All slutz go on the airplane! It'z supposed to be hard to find I buyed it from Wonder Woman online! Pleaze put Elliot inside And no you can't come for a ride! What you know about gettin' propz (what?) Sneaky be wreckin' shop (huh?) Let'z rock to the beat, make your head bop Gotta get wet and hot like a sweat sock You can rest when the record stopz, yo Best not on second thought, though 'Cause Lazër Crowbot got a red dot Aimed at your dreadlockz, you don't wanna get shot So keep bouncin', keep it movin' (bounce!) Don't think about what you doin' Just freak out, start actin' stupid Gotta use it before you lose it My crew'z into producin' Muzik and drug abuzin' Who gives an F-U-C Can't you see we only human? Me shooting nudie moviez Roofiez and naked bootiez We drinkin' booze and hallucinating from the shrooming Oopsy, that waz a doozy We... Smoothy feel woozy I haz to make a dookie Whoa, whoa! Hold up! Hold up! Briso, you sick, B! And Hammel, you a problem, son! But now ain't the time for no relaxation, nahmean? It's 4 a.m., pimpin'! That means we 'bout to get this paper, feel me? Here, let me spit somethin: Who's that sneakin' up behind you girl? That just my big ol' booty! Who's that sneakin' up behind you girl? I give you a clue, it'z Smoothy Smooth. Who's that sneakin' up behind you girl? I don't know, lemme sneak a peak. Who's that sneakin' up behind you girl? Break 'em off proper Sneaky Sneak!!!! I spot a lovely girl in the club she Look yummy az an apple dumpling Her ba-ba-badunk-a-dunk be Jumping up and down like a monkey (Lucky!) It'z time to get funky Baby hug me, get crunk and hump me Come rub me in the back of my Humvee Get comfy, stretch out like a bungie Shorty want me, she a Playboy bunny Pretty young thing with a sexy rump, she Got a tongue-ring and the way she touch me Gonna give me something of a chubby Pour enough bubbly drinkz in her tummy She loosen up like a drunken Gumby Knock her over like Humpty Dumpty And bump ugliez eight ways to Sunday Ha ha ha ha! Well put, Sneaky! Oh, it ain't over, nucca. O' Feezy be all up in your mouth with them Sons of Rhineland! Lazër run the planet, and these haters can't stand it. The Dub-V got the game on lock, ya heard? I'ma go find me some cut-up. Hold me down! Who'z that creepin' up behind you man? It'z King Jon and Lazër Crow Who'z that creepin' up behind you man? Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Hammel with the crazy flow Who'z that creepin' up behind you man? Hey yo, it'z Briso and Ice von Shred Who'z that creepin' up behind you man? It'z CRT with the TV head (coughing) Damn. Well, we back. The World'z Sexiest, Most Danger Group in the World. That'z right, uh! Hey John, bang on! Yeah, bang, uh! Darth Fader! Keinhorst, R.I.P. He'z dead. Yeah, that'z what "R.I.P." mean. Oh, well uh... I got something to say! Okay, what iz it? Yo, I... I got somethin' to say, everybody! Yeah, we heared that part, spit it out. Uh, I doezn't remember. Briso, stop touching thoze knobz!
2.
And we are back, it is insane up in here! Crazy! I have a faux-hawk! Thanks for wakin' up early with us here on "The Hot-Ass Sex Hour." Caller, what is your request? Oh hell no, whose stanky panties are these? Oh these are mine, oh. Hello? Am I on the air? Yes! Oh, uh... yeah, I just got one question. Hit us up, sista! Yeah, I need some advice. I'm in love with two guys. Say what? Two guys? Who are they? Their names be Hammel and Briso. From Lazër?! Three-way! Ow! Oh yeah! Hot! So, what... what's your advice? Uh... hot! Oooh whoa... Boy, you want to be with me And I feel the same way too But I also want to be With another sexy dude Now I never asked to be So in love with both of you So I hope that you can see There's no way that I can choose Tell me why this has to be Got me actin' like a fool 'Cause you want to be with me And he wants to be with you Wait, no, that's not what I mean Now I'm getting all confused Can somebody help me please Tell me what's a girl to do? Uh... yo... yo... You wanna ride baby? Grab the wheel (jeah) And we can roll like Jack and Jill (come on) I'll take you out and spend a half a mil' On flashy fly jewelz, why you standing still? (uh) My rap skillz got the mass appeal (word) And love iz something that you haz to feel (uh huh) So lemme hit it from the back until Your ass iz real red, and we haz to chill Screw him, Sneaky'z bad newz (what?!) But Smoothy a super rad dude Yeah boo, let'z jet down to Cancun And spoon on a sand dune I feed you fast food, lose the pantsuit Let me shampoo your raccoon I give you... I give you the sweetest taboo! Boy, you want to be with me And I feel the same way too But I also want to be With another sexy dude Now I never asked to be So in love with both of you So I hope that you can see There's no way that I can choose Tell me why this has to be Got me actin' like a fool 'Cause you want to be with me And he wants to be with you Wait, no, that's not what I mean Now I'm getting all confused Can somebody help me please Tell me what's a girl to do? Rocket packz and caviar iz how I mack you Crotch attackz and candy barz in public bathroomz Briso hump you in the afternoon And 'pregnate you with Siameze twinz... every time Come to my private island... girl For some fancy winin' and dinin'... we'll Do some bumpin' and grindin', I will buy you a diamond Then I will climb in your hymen Listen to me, Briso will be Right by your side until I die Excuze me, may I object? (um...) That'z incorrect (twat) Only Hammel can treat you well Dude, I'll kick your ass Ha ha ha, don't make me laugh Oh by the way, Hammel iz gay Briso, you lie Nope, he did a guy Okay that'z it If I'm gay, you can suck my... Boy, you want to be with me And I feel the same way too But I also want to be With another sexy dude Now I never asked to be So in love with both of you So I hope that you can see There's no way that I can choose Tell me why this has to be Got me actin' like a fool 'Cause you want to be with me And he wants to be with you Wait, no, that's not what I mean Now I'm getting all confused Can somebody help me please Tell me what's a girl to do? What is a girl to do? In love with both of you Don't make me have to choose Between these sexy dudes
3.
¡Fun/Yes! 02:56
One... two... One, two, three, four Prepare to shake it once more We breakin' down your front door Bringin' the dangerz of course The paper'z what we come for You scaredy kittenz mad lame Put down that glass of champagne We 'bout to rock this damn thang Wild out and pull a hamstring This be a Lazër hoedown So grab a partner, go 'round Two-step and dos-à-dos now Don't act like you don't know how Let'z get it jumpin' (that'z right) Y'all lookin' like stalagmitez Get off the wall and act like You crazy off the crack pipe! Here we go again Everybody in the place get low again If you got skillz, start showin' them This is fun and exciting. ¡Fun/Yes! ¡Fun/Yes! ¡Fun/Yes! Come get some! Hola, me llamo Hammel Yo tengo mucho papel The blondie droppin' bombshellz I got more hitz than Hotmail The Warner Brotherz sued me They said my tunez iz looney But y'all know me and Smoothy Go back like Shag and Scooby Briso be flowin' so ill I givin' people cold chillz Lazër get paid like phone billz You haterz ain't got no skillz Y'all couldn't write a haiku Our muzik bang like Piruz Download us off of iTunez Then you can do the "Night Movez" Here we go again Everybody in the place get low again Y'all got dance movez, better show 'em then Dance... Dance sucka! ¡Fun/Yes! ¡Fun/Yes! ¡Fun/Yes! Come here! Dayumm! That cutie be fine Badonka-booty, she'z mine She back it up like rewind How could I leave that behind? This hottie wanna dance me She got me feelin' handzy Slip her the roofie candy Now she my boo like Radley Homegirl, you feelin' some stress? I suggest you undress Get on your kneez and confess Oh yes.... Success! I got her buzzin' off wine She wanna love me long time But I'm a baller y'all, I'm About my dollarz, not dimez T-take your pantz off G-get your dance on Take-take your pantz off Get-g-get your dance on Work it! Work it! Work it! One, two, three, four Here we go again Everybody in the place get low again Groupiez outside, pleaze show 'em in Do you want some of this? ¡Fun/Yes! ¡Fun/Yes! ¡Fun/Yes! Teriffic!
4.
How do you ask for a date? What about this? Girl... You'z a girl, girl. The way we met our eyez waz like a dream Lady step inside my limouzine (yeah) And let me take you out (you like this) I iz a wealthy man (money) I wantz to make you out (cherish) I haz a healthy... Tangerinez and whipped cream, don't be late I iz gonna pick you up at eight (I get you) I'll take you by the hand (ohhhh...) And whisper in your ear (shhhh, listen) That I will kill your man (stabbing... dead!) If he inter... Fearz iz normal, just relax my dear Turn around and cover up your earz (screamz iz gonna happen) And go ahead and cry (it'z okay, baby) All thoze happy tearz (just let it out, sugarz) 'Cauze I'z a sexy guy (and what about that queef?) And he'z a panzy queer We're in love, it'z obvious And there ain't no stopping us So turn around and calmly just (tell 'em, Sneaky) Get the hell up off deez nutz (crying) And now, goodnight. The end of a perfect evening.
5.
Hey yo! What we gotta do to let you monkeyz know? We iz the most danger... ever! A-hem, check check! You know who it iz! It'z Lazër baby, The Sonz of Rhineland! Sneaky! Yo? Handle this monkey bizness! Aiight! Hammel be puchin' in, and once again I hear somebody mumblin' Somethin' tellz me it's a bunch of them Monkey rapperz from the jungle gym (real talk) Hey dudez, I take you back to the same zoo Where you came from and cage you (ooh!) I paid duez, you ain't the first lame crew who came through And got played like GameCube So why y'all want beef with us When we can just leave you in the freakin' dust? I ain't even gonna say your namez 'cause Y'all just want me to make you famous You call my phone but Sneaky don't answer I don't need no backup dancerz So go 'head, talk about my Speedo Lazër stay paid like Uncle Rico Briso! Oh! It'z on like Donkey Kong! And y'all don't want us to start namin' namez But peep this though It'z not about black or white It'z about wack or tight Lazër'z got the people behind us! Frustrated'z an understatement (uh huh) Y'all hate it that Lazër made it (word up) Your weak rhymez never make a flesh wound They stink like public restroomz PP, tee-hee I make a joke When I pee-pee in your Coke Take a dump on Pikachu'z little khufi And use it to wipe the dookie Next guy, what more can I say to you, sir But you'z a wack loser? And your producer? Dude, your tunez are crap Better grab that pooper scooper 'Cause I'ma super-duper beat machine uzer Wack MC abuzer Make a move, I'ma use the Lazër bazooka To remove your medulla! (giggling) Whoa, hold up baby. Briso gotta crap some more magic. Y'all don't want it with us! Sneaky Sneak and Smoothy Smooth... the zookeeperz. Behave and maybe we give you a free Lazër t-shirt! (giggling) Monkey see, monkey do Monkeyz throwing monkey poo La-Lazër throw it back at you Lo-lock you up inside the zoo So what'z left to say? Like the logo, y'all are deaf, dumb and blind! Hammel, get 'em one more time! The blonde bomber'z back, and y'all got served So call me Bentley Fonzworth I'ma squash y'all nerdz just like a Starburst And scrape you off of my Converse You monkey retardz couldn't make a song worse If you spit the wrong verse I think y'all got cursed, your style is not worth The food stampz outta your mom'z purse Sneaky catch you outside of your concert And have you sweatin' like you doin' some yardwork I'm Uma, you the blonde nurse In Kill Bill, and they gon' pick you up in a long hearse Everybody weeping at y'all'z church When Sneaky done speaking harsh wordz So I'ma stop and put the mic down now, My arm hurtz, y'all can suck my bratwurst
6.
You iz getting sleepy Very sleepy I iz feeling sneaky ... and very freaky Mmmm... I've worked up quite an appetite Summon the hermaphrodite! When I blowz the conch he ridez in on an ostrich With platez of sausage Uh... what the f' iz theze? Lazër only eatz endangered speciez My apologiez! Silence! Bring out the condor meat, jeez! So hard to find good help nowadayz But anywayz, welcome to Lazër castle Masquerade costumez and candlez Sample the fine cuizine Orgazm of the sensez, y'nahmean? People doin' kinky thingz with Vaseline It'z a freaky scene I control you, mind control you My pet there iz no doubt you will obey Look, my child! Behold the reclusive phantom: Mr. Pee-Pee! Where did he go? Dominate (obey) Gravitate (to me) Liberate (your mind) Excavate (my butt) Ride the snake (my pet) Seal your fate (oh yes) Frosted Flakez (what?) They're grrrreat (oh yes!) Excellent, she'z definitely Getting ready, for heavy petting In my sex swing, oopz I mean... let'z see Girl I don't like you sexually (psych) That waz reverse psychology I shakez my pelvis like Elvis Presley My hipz 'notize you to have wet dreamz Like when you fell asleep on your jet-ski I control you, mind control you Briso iz the smartest man in the world Yo Lazër Crow, I don't think they heared me! The smartest man in the world! I'm like a gargoyle, I'm like a Batman You cannot believe my Dracula dance The blood of Regis, the unicorn milk I haz a boner, it'z shrouded in silk Hey! Maybe you notice I iz a weird, goth enigma. I will eat my edible undiez while you starez into my amulet from Hot Topic. Enter the basement, where Briso be waiting To spy on your boobz through the eyez of a painting And Hammel iz hangin' from hookz so I lookz like a raven Aside from the cape he iz naked Your hormonez iz ragin' and anxiously anticipatin' An amazin' ass-assination What Sneaky be sayin' with alliteration iz basically Lazër be ready for bangin' Mezmerize (obey) Cloze your eyez (for me) Hypnotize (your mind) Sodomize (your butt) Magnetize (oh yes) Jazzercize (and stretch!) Samuraiz (bad-ass!) Hammer time! (U can't touch this)
7.
Honey Beez 03:16
Beez. Beez. Beez. Beez. Girl beez. Bzzzz. Metaphorz. Girlz. Beez. Bee metaphorz. Girlz iz beez. Beez. Get it? Beez. It'z clever. The honey bee is a social creature. Oh, look at that bumble booty Yo Briso, look at that boom-boom bumble booty It'z moving all around! Look at that boom-boom bumble booty Look at that boom-boom bumble booty movin' all around Lazër iz gonna freeze Iced out on 23'z We sippin' bubbliez We grow a money treez Honiez with double-D'z Up in the club with theze MCz with tonz of G'z We call 'em honey beez Money pleaze, look at theze loveliez Theze honey beez buzzin' in front of me? Becauze it be us who they come to see The Dub-V'z got 'em in the club for free The company'z payin' us a bunch of cheeze No wonder she'z tryin' to get under theze Undiez, she want luxuriez But what she needz iz a double-team She wantz to be with me tonight She'z buzzin' me They want to be with us tonight Theze honey beez Lazër iz gonna freeze Iced out on 23'z We sippin' bubbliez We grow a money treez Honiez with double-D'z Up in the club with theze MCz with tonz of G'z We call 'em honey beez First message: Briso? Hey, it's me, Kelli. I had a really good time the other night. Listen, hey... I'm a man. I never told you. Look at that boom-boom bumble booty I want to sting it! Look at that boom-boom bumble booty moving all around Look at that boom-boom bumble booty Hey Briso! Wait. Look at that boom-boom...Yo Briso! What?!? Can we take 'em to the bridge?! Chart-toppin', heart-stoppin' Hottiez flockin', bodiez throbbin' Cauzin' problemz, it'z the modern Sid Vicious and Johnny Rotten Ma, we haz so much in common You'z into goin' shoppin' We'z into salad tossin' Gettin' off and cherry poppin' Slave-babez wanna get set free My crew be too sexy Super-phat, über-impact flowz Inhibition? Gotta let that go If you really wanna impress me Turn around, break it down, let'z see How bad you wanna get that dough? Make your booty bounce like a big fat hoe Lazër iz gonna freeze Iced out on 23'z We sip on bubbliez And grow a money treez Honiez with double-D'z Up in the tub with theze MCz with tonz of G'z We call 'em honey beez Lazër, The Sonz of Rhineland Baka! Baka! Baka! What y'all know about that? Yo, Sneakz! Fall back! Say what, B? I'ma take us out! Aiight son, take us out Yo, we out! We... we out! You sure we out? Stop! We out.
8.
Party Kidz 02:57
Let's go on to the next dance! Yay! Yo, now put your right leg in Put it in, y'all! Now take your right leg out Take it out, y'all! Now put your left leg in Nice kickz! There's no stopping you! We all iz cool Just be yourself! We not a foolz We stay in school! We follow rulez! Safety first! You're warmed up and ready to dance! Bein' the cool iz eazy Don't be a sleazy cheezy You learn the A, B Ceeziez You be the smart for sheezy Then you can make a CD Awesome like me and Sneaky Get all the moniez eazy And buy a SUV! Big B on the track with Sneaky (Sneaky) See me on the plazma TV (TV) Lazër got Blu-ray DVDz iPhonez and mp3z ('p3z) Chillin' out with Santa, just got back Playstation 4? Yeah, we got that Say no to drugz, they iz not wack You mean they iz wack, can I get a Big Mac? Everyday it'z Mickey D'z and Wendy'z I'm the Burger King, feel me? But party kidz gotta eat their vegetablez Do their math homework with decimalz Don't let no pederast pet your ass all sexual Or touch your testiclez All my peepz dare to dream 'Cauze we iz special Yes you can! I get a girlfriend eazy I make her out for sheezy I tame a dragon eazy He never try to eat me I doez a slam dunk eazy Nobody dunk on meezy I stealed a firetruck eazy All aboard for fun! Yay! Alright, buckle up for trip! Yay! Uh... oh nutsack. Airwolf! 10-4! Come in! Uh, Briso? What you iz doing? I haz to call Airwolf. Firetruck getted stucked in quicksandz! Okay, Airwolf don't fly hizself. Oh, now you tellz me. Uh... Party kidz! Y'all like fun? I like fun! I like fun! Party kidz! Y'all like gamez? I like gamez! I like gamez! Party kidz! What the dealio? I'm fat. I'm in a wheelchair! Party kidz! Let'z work. Grind that ass! Grind that ass! Oh no! What'z going on? Keep dancin'! Uh... I'm rolling! Briso! Oh! Keep dancin'! What'z wrong with you? Uh... spiderz in my brain! Hammel, make it stop! Stop! Oh no... Bein' the cool iz eazy I know my A-B-threeziez Uh... my girlfriend haz fleaz! (oh my god) Uh... then you can make a CD Get all the moniez eazy What a workout!
9.
Doggie Nasty 03:30
(Viper armed) Uh, yeah. Bright Eyes. Yeah, hey! Hammel's not doin' your album. What?! Sorry, babe. No! Ha ha! Wuss. Whoa, new Lazër! Daddy likey! Ha ha. Scoot over bro. Hey, where's the button at? This one? Yes. Sweet. 'Sup dogs? What's up? Hello. Sounds like another banger. Now drop that beat again and check this. See, these kids today... They ain't breakin' their piggy banks open for some G-rated, Mickey Mouse Club, happy-clappy crap. So let's thug this thing out, aiight? Let's flop out some dirt-dog nasty. Okay... Uh... All these hot ladiez got me in heat Be good girl and I give you a treat Lie down, roll over, sit up, beg Ma, you know you wanna hump my leg Now can't nobody make you moan like me But ain't no telling where my bone might be (oh yeah) Move your paw up above my knee Now you barking up the right tree Ha ha ha! Hammel, that was off the chain! Now Briso, we need something filthy here. Think Snoop Dogg. Kick it. I want to drink a pee-pee water from the commode. You dumbass! Now people call me dog 'cauze I chase the cat Lickin' on the kitten iz my favorite snack Sniff around back while I'm tastin' that Oh no! Lemme out! I gotta take a crap! Take you in the dog house, where we alone (huh?) Lay you on a long couch, bury the bone (oh yeah!) Climb up on top of me while Briso give it to you doggystyle (he he) I want to make a shit, eat it and lick your face! Owoooooooh! Okay, you're one sick puppy Briso. How 'bout you guys do some back-and-forth here. And Hammel, switch the beat up. Puppy dog eyez, big surprize Bone only come in extra-large size Slobber on it so my tail can wag Take me home in a doggie bag Ruff! Wag your tail ma, wag your tail Ruff! Wag your tail ma, wag your tail Ruff! Bitch, I said wag your tail! Now pant Doggone, all y'all are fine (uh huh) Peep how my dog collar shine Dog tag be a dollar sign (that's right) I piss on a bitch and call her mine (nice!) Real dogz get down on all fourz (okay) I lift my leg, you lift yourz (no doubt) Knick knack, patty whack, fuck all that Suck a milkbone while I sniff your crack Oh ho ho...yes! That's what I'm talkin' about, nasty! That's what the kids want today. You've been to the roller rinks and the mall. You've seen the teeny bopper girls makin' the corn-dogs and wondered what kind of panties they got on. What? No, no! I'm sayin'... I'm just sayin' they shouldn't be at the mall, whorin' around. They need to be at home with a babysitter, getting disciplined. Somebody to spank their little heinies... and get 'em in bed. What? No no no, not like that! I'm just saying... they need to be loved. They need love. The hounds are comin' out You're not a... Y-You're not a... Y-Y-You're not a nice dog Doggie nasty, dirty stinky Doggie nasty, dirty horny
10.
Microphone checka... Let's go! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Ready? Okay! Get up! Get down! Get up! Get down! Get up! Get down! Get up! Right now! Well done, ladies. Now get back in your cages! (screams) Shut up! Now start kissing each other a whole bunch. Wonderful! And now, raps! Hovercrafting, everlasting Subwooferz in back iz blasting Get out and your girl iz dashing Up to us to do a flashing Quit your crying mister baby She will be back later (maybe) No reason for you to hate me Not my fault she want to rape me Bouncer let us in for free 'Cauze Lazër be the VIPz Everybody stare at me Uh Briso, you should X-Y-Z Don't be scared, it'z not a ghost Zip it up man, sorry folkz Come here girl, I dance you close B-R-I-S-Oh that'z gross Everybody get up for the get down Everybody get up for the get down Everybody get up for the get down Everybody stand up, don't sit down Everybody get up for the get down Everybody get up for the get down Everybody get up for the get down Nobody better never ever sit down Get up, mami drop that thing down Rhineland sonz takin' over your town Get up, or we lay your ass down Lazër Crow gonna shoot the whole crowd! All I wanna do iz make a funky dance for you From 1-2 buckle my shoe, to Electric Boogaloo So we dance for a few, but then I notice someone new It'z your friend, she'z getting jealous, so I let her dance me too (ooh!) After we iz through I introduce you to my crew (Hi Hammel) No, I iz Briso, I wear red, Hammel wear blue One for me and one for you, which of theze two should I do? Wait ladiez! Where you going? He was joking! Sorry dude. Ah! Everybody get up for the get down Everybody get up for the get down Everybody get up for the get down Everybody stand up, don't sit down Everybody get up for the get down Everybody get up for the get down Everybody get up for the get down Nobody better never ever sit down Get up, shorty drop that thing down My band gonna take over your town Lazër gonna burn the place down Ice von Shredula rock their face now! Lonely girl in the club, no one to dance You take a glance, see me standing in my b-boy stance I advance, I iz handsome, time for romance! Take a chance! Girl you know you want to get in my pantz Let’s dance Hey, hey, hey! Let’s dance Hey, hey, hey! Let’s dance Hey, hey, hey! Romance Hey, hey, hey We wear no pantz Look people, one must get up before one may get down. Once you get up, the hard part is over. Seems my hard part is getting up over here! Neat! Shake it like a naked lady behind the wall (uh huh) That have a hole in it where the men can see it all Celebrating, earth iz quaking, we iz losing control (oh no!) Someone call me butter 'cauze I be on a roll (that's whoa!) Everybody get up for the get down Everybody get up for the get down Everybody get up for the get down Everybody stand up, don't sit down Everybody get up for the get down Everybody get up for the get down Everybody get up for the get down Maximum! Girls in the club I can see Wanna leave their man so that they can be with me Take your pantz, throw them down Wave your handz, make a moaning sound Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey Get down! Let'z go, now put your handz up Let'z go, now put your handz down Let'z go, now put your handz up Now put your handz down, now put 'em back up, what?! Let'z go, now put your handz up Let'z go, now put your handz down Let'z go, now put your handz up Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!

about

After lengthy hiatus during which Hammel haved crotch-replacement surgery and Briso becomed master reptile trainer, Lazër iz back on U.S. soilz with their latest full-length masterwerk, 'Twatobahn'. The sophomore LP featurez double-danger beatz and even more sexier sexxx rhymez, and haz already been heralded az "Goodest Music of All-Timez" by numerous important scholar.*

"To making this new muzikz extra-danger, I producered all beatz while doing activity such az BASE-jumpingz, waterboarding meinself and breakdance with white tigerz," sayed Lazër producer and frontman Hammel, also knowed az "Sneaky Sneak."

In performing his vocalz, co-frontman Briso (a.k.a. "Smoothy Smooth") employed same try-and-true techniquez he have uze since earliest Lazër recordingz: "I iz kind of a 'method rapper' so-to-speaking," Briso explainz. "For achieve best outcome, I alwayz make a sure I haz very nice boner before microphoning mein lyricz. This very eazy if you alwayz keeping a slutz, horse tranquilizer, and Star Crunchez around."

Also returning for this second go 'round iz ninja/guitarist Ice von Shredula, TV-headed bassist CRT-2000, and newcomerz FutureSnake and The Shape-Shifter. Cameoz by Lazër Crow, Ol' Farte, MC Hammer, Duke Nukem and Mike Snyder flesh out the star-studded guest list.

With salez already surpassing the 3-million mark, Twatobahn standz to redefine not just the hip-hopz, but recorded muzikz in general. Recently-discovered evidence predictz every song will be #1 hit, a feat matched only by Lazër'z own 'Greatest Shitz' compilation, set for 2018 release.**

"I planz to install a bad-ass waterfall inside mein mansion," Briso stated via satellite communiqué from Lazër'z new "space helicopter". "But instead of waterz falling, it will be Lamborghiniz."

Meanwhile, Hammel'z 'Twatobahn' royaltiez will fund hiz ongoing "Metal Legz" experiment, a top-secret government project now entering itz fourth year. "I iz confidential that Lazër'z science-man team now be within only $3-4 billion of completing mein invention," Sneaky sayed.

*Source: Hammel
**Source: Gray'z Almanac (2000-2050)

credits

released September 17, 2010

Produced & Arranged by Hammel for Sneaky Productionz
Recorded by Darth Fader at Def Star Studioz
Artwerkz by Detlev Pencilwülf for IcePlanet.com

LAZËR IZ:
Hammel: Beatz + Vocalz
Briso: Vocalz
Ice von Shredula: Guitarz
CRT-2000: Basslinez
FutureSnake: Keyboardz
The Shape-Shifter: Drummingz
King Jon/Lazër Crow: Securitiez

SPECIAL THANKZ:
Osgood Farte
DJ EOK & Christie V
Saint Nick Halupnik
Carla Stoltenbërg
Keinhorst (R.I.P.)

Published by Sneaky Productionz (ASCAP)
© 2010 Whale Voice Entertainment/Sneaky Productionz, LLC

license

tags