What we gotta do to let you monkeyz know?
We iz the most danger... ever!
A-hem, check check!
You know who it iz! It'z Lazër baby, The Sonz of Rhineland!
Handle this monkey bizness!
Hammel be puchin' in, and once again
I hear somebody mumblin'
Somethin' tellz me it's a bunch of them
Monkey rapperz from the jungle gym (real talk)
Hey dudez, I take you back to the same zoo
Where you came from and cage you (ooh!)
I paid duez, you ain't the first lame crew who came through
And got played like GameCube
So why y'all want beef with us
When we can just leave you in the freakin' dust?
I ain't even gonna say your namez 'cause
Y'all just want me to make you famous
You call my phone but Sneaky don't answer
I don't need no backup dancerz
So go 'head, talk about my Speedo
Lazër stay paid like Uncle Rico
Oh! It'z on like Donkey Kong!
And y'all don't want us to start namin' namez
But peep this though
It'z not about black or white
It'z about wack or tight
Lazër'z got the people behind us!
Frustrated'z an understatement (uh huh)
Y'all hate it that Lazër made it (word up)
Your weak rhymez never make a flesh wound
They stink like public restroomz
PP, tee-hee I make a joke
When I pee-pee in your Coke
Take a dump on Pikachu'z little khufi
And use it to wipe the dookie
Next guy, what more can I say to you, sir
But you'z a wack loser?
And your producer? Dude, your tunez are crap
Better grab that pooper scooper
'Cause I'ma super-duper beat machine uzer
Wack MC abuzer
Make a move, I'ma use the Lazër bazooka
To remove your medulla!
Whoa, hold up baby. Briso gotta crap some more magic.
Y'all don't want it with us!
Sneaky Sneak and Smoothy Smooth... the zookeeperz.
Behave and maybe we give you a free Lazër t-shirt!
Monkey see, monkey do
Monkeyz throwing monkey poo
La-Lazër throw it back at you
Lo-lock you up inside the zoo
So what'z left to say?
Like the logo, y'all are deaf, dumb and blind!
Hammel, get 'em one more time!
The blonde bomber'z back, and y'all got served
So call me Bentley Fonzworth
I'ma squash y'all nerdz just like a Starburst
And scrape you off of my Converse
You monkey retardz couldn't make a song worse
If you spit the wrong verse
I think y'all got cursed, your style is not worth
The food stampz outta your mom'z purse
Sneaky catch you outside of your concert
And have you sweatin' like you doin' some yardwork
I'm Uma, you the blonde nurse
In Kill Bill, and they gon' pick you up in a long hearse
Everybody weeping at y'all'z church
When Sneaky done speaking harsh wordz
So I'ma stop and put the mic down now,
My arm hurtz, y'all can suck my bratwurst
from Twatobahn: Standard Model,
released September 17, 2010
Produced & Arranged by Hammel for Sneaky Productionz
Recorded by Darth Fader at Def Star Studioz
Guitarz by Ice von Shredula