• Twatobahn CD
• Digital download w/ exclusive bonus trackz, video and cover art
• LAZËR T-shirt (American Apparel brand, your choice of size/color)
• Collectible LAZËR stickerz and 11" x 17" Twatobahn poster
Congratulation fan, you haz finded hidden bonus track!
Now shut up, stand at attention
Don't dance, you haz to listen
Anybody I hearz talkin' crap and dissin'
Iz fixin' to catch a whippin'
Think Hammel'z a dance musician?
Well you ain't heard all the rapz I'z written
Y'all foolz gotta start wearin' frickin' raincoatz
The way this cat be spittin'
Every day of my life I iz hearin'
Crazy fanz cheerin' and cameraz clickin'
I can't walk outside without gettin'
Standin' ovationz, clappin' and whistlin'
Oh yeah, and not to mention
All theze ass-kissin' attractive women
Shakin' it fast for the chance to get in
Sneaky'z pantz soon as I grantz permission
"NEW YORK SHIT"
You punkz be missing one thing
I ain't fronting, Hammel be hungry
Plus he tough az rugby, and a...
Hold up! Darth Fader, drop the drumz, G
Better fall back, 'cauze I'm all that
I'm a big dog, homey, you a small cat
Who you callin' wack? I haul off and smack
You in the face with the baseball bat
'Cauze Lazër major, and you'z a faker
I'm an entertainer, rap music savior
Hip-hop hooray for my naughty nature
Mad flavor and ill behavior
I be gettin' minez, so just give me five
And don't trip if you getz behind
'Cause that iz the time you should hit rewind
Uh huh, I flip rhymez like a 69
The most sexy and danger band on the planet
Iz back at it, cauzing panic
The Sonz of Rhineland rollin' thick az mass tranzit
And wreaking havoc
Legend haz it we grabbed a whale
And sailed across the Atlantic
'Cause we haz the knack to make trackz
That ain't just sick, damn it, they azthmatic
We drop classicz like some nasty bad habitz
And watch wack rapperz vanish (vamoose!)
They can't hack it, Lazër make 'em look lame
Like video gamez with bad graphicz
My multi-syllabic black magic
Abra-cadabra rapz is fantastic
That'z why theze fanz and female fanaticz
Attract to me like a magnet
"ME AGAINST THE MUSIC"
Y'all angry and jealous maybe
Lazër get babez and paper crazy
You player haterz gon' make me
Sneak my snake out and bang your lady (snake!)
My crew unique, rap to the beat
Party people gotta move their feet (let'z work)
Rick Jamez said Sneaky a superfreak
I get brain in exclusive suitez
I'm mad cool baby, let me dance you (okay!)
Mmm hmm, now take off your pantz, boo (what?!)
That'z true, I signed my band to
The biggest whale in Texas since Shamu
Homey check the skillz, I got sex appeal
And a record deal worth seven mil'
Messin' with Shred will get you killed
He's c-cold as ice...
Ice von Shredula performz bad-ass guitar solo
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Ice, Ice!
That waz nice, but yo, we got somebody else tryin' to get nasty up in here!
You know they ain't ready for you B!
Oh, oh, oh no, oh no!
Let, l-let, let'z go like whoa!
Hey, yo, get low, get low!
L-l-let'z go Briso!
Got a bad chick, booty mad thick
Rubbin' all up on me 'cauze she love my accent
(Oh yes) Let me dance it
Then I do backflip gymnasticz
Look at this, big package
Smoothy got game like a Maverick
Me and two black chickz on the matress
Making ice cream sandwich (ha ha ha)
Wait! Where you goin'?
Homegirl, stay there a moment!
You got a man? Who cares?!?!
He'z broke, Briso very loaded!
But you better beware I'm totin'
The potion for making cherriez open
Back shotz 'til the barrel smokin'
Drop my ballz on you like Terrell Owenz
"LOVE ME OR HATE ME"
I'm back, blue drop-top Ferrari
And rockin' jewelz with an awesome body
Mad papparazi follow me
Crashin' partiez like kamakaze (party!)
See, rappin' iz just a hobby
My job iz mackin' hottiez and actin' naughty
Gwen Stefani be callin' me
Offering me punani (hey baby)
Hollaback girl, jump in my Testarossa
Relax (to-toke the doja)
Now I got this female rock-n-roller
Wantin' to choke the cobra (Cobra!)
Told ya, I'm a sex organ donor
With a boner big az a Super-Soaker
Wanna bend her over like yoga
And bone the chocha into a coma (oh!)
The copz throwed my ass in prison
For all the broadz I had been hittin'
Them stupid pigz just mad
Hammel do more trickz than a damned magician
They see how my medallion glisten
The lifestyle and the handsome livin'
The Ass-assin addin' up cash so fast
Y'all call me "the mathmatician"
Man, who needz pantz and britchez?
I got a buttload of fanz and richez
Hand Sneaky a mic any time you like,
I'll straight up handle bizness
My über rap ammunition
Induce collisionz and friction
This flippin' record be so hot
The wax iz drippin'
from Twatobahn: Deluxe Model,
released September 17, 2010
Produced & Arranged by Hammel for Sneaky Productionz
Recorded by Darth Fader at Def Star Studioz
Additional vocalz by Greggo, Chris Farley & Gwen Stefani
Guitarz by Ice von Shredula