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about

After lengthy hiatus during which Hammel haved crotch-replacement surgery and Briso becomed master reptile trainer, Lazër iz back on U.S. soilz with their latest full-length masterwerk, 'Twatobahn'. The sophomore LP featurez double-danger beatz and even more sexier sexxx rhymez, and haz already been heralded az "Goodest Music of All-Timez" by numerous important scholar.*

"To making this new muzikz extra-danger, I producered all beatz while doing activity such az BASE-jumpingz, waterboarding meinself and breakdance with white tigerz," sayed Lazër producer and frontman Hammel, also knowed az "Sneaky Sneak."

In performing his vocalz, co-frontman Briso (a.k.a. "Smoothy Smooth") employed same try-and-true techniquez he have uze since earliest Lazër recordingz: "I iz kind of a 'method rapper' so-to-speaking," Briso explainz. "For achieve best outcome, I alwayz make a sure I haz very nice boner before microphoning mein lyricz. This very eazy if you alwayz keeping a slutz, horse tranquilizer, and Star Crunchez around."

Also returning for this second go 'round iz ninja/guitarist Ice von Shredula, TV-headed bassist CRT-2000, and newcomerz FutureSnake and The Shape-Shifter. Cameoz by Lazër Crow, Ol' Farte, MC Hammer, Duke Nukem and Mike Snyder flesh out the star-studded guest list.

With salez already surpassing the 3-million mark, Twatobahn standz to redefine not just the hip-hopz, but recorded muzikz in general. Recently-discovered evidence predictz every song will be #1 hit, a feat matched only by Lazër'z own 'Greatest Shitz' compilation, set for 2018 release.**

"I planz to install a bad-ass waterfall inside mein mansion," Briso stated via satellite communiqué from Lazër'z new "space helicopter". "But instead of waterz falling, it will be Lamborghiniz."

Meanwhile, Hammel'z 'Twatobahn' royaltiez will fund hiz ongoing "Metal Legz" experiment, a top-secret government project now entering itz fourth year. "I iz confidential that Lazër'z science-man team now be within only $3-4 billion of completing mein invention," Sneaky sayed.

*Source: Hammel
**Source: Gray'z Almanac (2000-2050)

credits

released September 17, 2010

Produced & Arranged by Hammel for Sneaky Productionz
Recorded by Darth Fader at Def Star Studioz
Artwerkz by Detlev Pencilwülf for IcePlanet.com

LAZËR IZ:
Hammel: Beatz + Vocalz
Briso: Vocalz
Ice von Shredula: Guitarz
CRT-2000: Basslinez
FutureSnake: Keyboardz
The Shape-Shifter: Drummingz
King Jon/Lazër Crow: Securitiez

SPECIAL THANKZ:
Osgood Farte
DJ EOK & Christie V
Saint Nick Halupnik
Carla Stoltenbërg
Keinhorst (R.I.P.)

Published by Sneaky Productionz (ASCAP)
© 2010 Whale Voice Entertainment/Sneaky Productionz, LLC

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LAZËR Rhineland, Missouri

Most Danger Band on the Planet.

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Track Name: Sex & Danger (feat. Ol' Farte)
Ah, yes! The Sons of Rhineland are back, you biatches!
Y'all better aks somebody! Platinum? Pshh!
We 'bout to go plutonium up in this hoe!
Peep game!

Attention dancing slavez
Mr. and Miss-behavez
You now rockin' with the Lazër Party boyz
We got it made
Lear jetz, bodyguardz and black carz
Shorty recognize you rollin' with a rap star
Helicopter pad in my backyard
Next to the jaguar cage and the snack bar
Come sail in the Lazër speedboat
With Hammel and his seis amigoz
Both Johnz, CRT, Crow,
Ice von Shredula and Briso
Now everywhere that we go
We getz chased by a million people
You damn right I got a big ol' ego
Name another rapper that'll rock a Speedo

Briso roll around in diamondz!
Ow, so many diamondz!
Hey, unlock the bear cage!
All slutz go on the airplane!
It'z supposed to be hard to find
I buyed it from Wonder Woman online!
Pleaze put Elliot inside
And no you can't come for a ride!

What you know about gettin' propz (what?)
Sneaky be wreckin' shop (huh?)
Let'z rock to the beat, make your head bop
Gotta get wet and hot like a sweat sock
You can rest when the record stopz, yo
Best not on second thought, though
'Cause Lazër Crowbot got a red dot
Aimed at your dreadlockz, you don't wanna get shot
So keep bouncin', keep it movin' (bounce!)
Don't think about what you doin'
Just freak out, start actin' stupid
Gotta use it before you lose it
My crew'z into producin'
Muzik and drug abuzin'
Who gives an F-U-C
Can't you see we only human?

Me shooting nudie moviez
Roofiez and naked bootiez
We drinkin' booze and hallucinating from the shrooming
Oopsy, that waz a doozy
We... Smoothy feel woozy
I haz to make a dookie

Whoa, whoa! Hold up! Hold up! Briso, you sick, B!
And Hammel, you a problem, son!
But now ain't the time for no relaxation, nahmean?
It's 4 a.m., pimpin'!
That means we 'bout to get this paper, feel me?
Here, let me spit somethin:

Who's that sneakin' up behind you girl?
That just my big ol' booty!
Who's that sneakin' up behind you girl?
I give you a clue, it'z Smoothy Smooth.
Who's that sneakin' up behind you girl?
I don't know, lemme sneak a peak.
Who's that sneakin' up behind you girl?
Break 'em off proper Sneaky Sneak!!!!

I spot a lovely girl in the club she
Look yummy az an apple dumpling
Her ba-ba-badunk-a-dunk be
Jumping up and down like a monkey
(Lucky!) It'z time to get funky
Baby hug me, get crunk and hump me
Come rub me in the back of my Humvee
Get comfy, stretch out like a bungie
Shorty want me, she a Playboy bunny
Pretty young thing with a sexy rump, she
Got a tongue-ring and the way she touch me
Gonna give me something of a chubby
Pour enough bubbly drinkz in her tummy
She loosen up like a drunken Gumby
Knock her over like Humpty Dumpty
And bump ugliez eight ways to Sunday

Ha ha ha ha! Well put, Sneaky!
Oh, it ain't over, nucca.
O' Feezy be all up in your mouth with them Sons of Rhineland!
Lazër run the planet, and these haters can't stand it.
The Dub-V got the game on lock, ya heard?
I'ma go find me some cut-up. Hold me down!

Who'z that creepin' up behind you man?
It'z King Jon and Lazër Crow
Who'z that creepin' up behind you man?
Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Hammel with the crazy flow
Who'z that creepin' up behind you man?
Hey yo, it'z Briso and Ice von Shred
Who'z that creepin' up behind you man?
It'z CRT with the TV head

(coughing)
Damn. Well, we back.
The World'z Sexiest, Most Danger Group in the World.
That'z right, uh!
Hey John, bang on! Yeah, bang, uh!
Darth Fader! Keinhorst, R.I.P.
He'z dead. Yeah, that'z what "R.I.P." mean.
Oh, well uh... I got something to say!
Okay, what iz it?
Yo, I... I got somethin' to say, everybody!
Yeah, we heared that part, spit it out.
Uh, I doezn't remember.
Briso, stop touching thoze knobz!
Track Name: What'z a Girl to Do? (feat. Christie V)
And we are back, it is insane up in here!
Crazy! I have a faux-hawk!
Thanks for wakin' up early with us here on "The Hot-Ass Sex Hour."
Caller, what is your request?

Oh hell no, whose stanky panties are these? Oh these are mine, oh.
Hello? Am I on the air?
Yes!
Oh, uh... yeah, I just got one question.
Hit us up, sista!
Yeah, I need some advice. I'm in love with two guys.
Say what? Two guys? Who are they?
Their names be Hammel and Briso.
From Lazër?! Three-way! Ow! Oh yeah! Hot!
So, what... what's your advice?
Uh... hot!

Oooh whoa...
Boy, you want to be with me
And I feel the same way too
But I also want to be
With another sexy dude
Now I never asked to be
So in love with both of you
So I hope that you can see
There's no way that I can choose

Tell me why this has to be
Got me actin' like a fool
'Cause you want to be with me
And he wants to be with you
Wait, no, that's not what I mean
Now I'm getting all confused
Can somebody help me please
Tell me what's a girl to do?

Uh... yo... yo...
You wanna ride baby? Grab the wheel (jeah)
And we can roll like Jack and Jill (come on)
I'll take you out and spend a half a mil'
On flashy fly jewelz, why you standing still? (uh)
My rap skillz got the mass appeal (word)
And love iz something that you haz to feel (uh huh)
So lemme hit it from the back until
Your ass iz real red, and we haz to chill

Screw him, Sneaky'z bad newz (what?!)
But Smoothy a super rad dude
Yeah boo, let'z jet down to Cancun
And spoon on a sand dune
I feed you fast food, lose the pantsuit
Let me shampoo your raccoon
I give you... I give you the sweetest taboo!

Boy, you want to be with me
And I feel the same way too
But I also want to be
With another sexy dude
Now I never asked to be
So in love with both of you
So I hope that you can see
There's no way that I can choose

Tell me why this has to be
Got me actin' like a fool
'Cause you want to be with me
And he wants to be with you
Wait, no, that's not what I mean
Now I'm getting all confused
Can somebody help me please
Tell me what's a girl to do?

Rocket packz and caviar iz how I mack you
Crotch attackz and candy barz in public bathroomz
Briso hump you in the afternoon
And 'pregnate you with Siameze twinz... every time

Come to my private island... girl
For some fancy winin' and dinin'... we'll
Do some bumpin' and grindin', I will buy you a diamond
Then I will climb in your hymen

Listen to me, Briso will be
Right by your side until I die
Excuze me, may I object? (um...)
That'z incorrect (twat)
Only Hammel can treat you well
Dude, I'll kick your ass
Ha ha ha, don't make me laugh
Oh by the way, Hammel iz gay
Briso, you lie
Nope, he did a guy
Okay that'z it
If I'm gay, you can suck my...

Boy, you want to be with me
And I feel the same way too
But I also want to be
With another sexy dude
Now I never asked to be
So in love with both of you
So I hope that you can see
There's no way that I can choose

Tell me why this has to be
Got me actin' like a fool
'Cause you want to be with me
And he wants to be with you
Wait, no, that's not what I mean
Now I'm getting all confused
Can somebody help me please
Tell me what's a girl to do?

What is a girl to do?
In love with both of you
Don't make me have to choose
Between these sexy dudes
Track Name: ¡Fun/Yes!
One... two...
One, two, three, four

Prepare to shake it once more
We breakin' down your front door
Bringin' the dangerz of course
The paper'z what we come for
You scaredy kittenz mad lame
Put down that glass of champagne
We 'bout to rock this damn thang
Wild out and pull a hamstring

This be a Lazër hoedown
So grab a partner, go 'round
Two-step and dos-à-dos now
Don't act like you don't know how
Let'z get it jumpin' (that'z right)
Y'all lookin' like stalagmitez
Get off the wall and act like
You crazy off the crack pipe!

Here we go again
Everybody in the place get low again
If you got skillz, start showin' them
This is fun and exciting.
¡Fun/Yes!
¡Fun/Yes!
¡Fun/Yes!
Come get some!

Hola, me llamo Hammel
Yo tengo mucho papel
The blondie droppin' bombshellz
I got more hitz than Hotmail
The Warner Brotherz sued me
They said my tunez iz looney
But y'all know me and Smoothy
Go back like Shag and Scooby

Briso be flowin' so ill
I givin' people cold chillz
Lazër get paid like phone billz
You haterz ain't got no skillz
Y'all couldn't write a haiku
Our muzik bang like Piruz
Download us off of iTunez
Then you can do the "Night Movez"

Here we go again
Everybody in the place get low again
Y'all got dance movez, better show 'em then
Dance... Dance sucka!
¡Fun/Yes!
¡Fun/Yes!
¡Fun/Yes!
Come here!

Dayumm! That cutie be fine
Badonka-booty, she'z mine
She back it up like rewind
How could I leave that behind?
This hottie wanna dance me
She got me feelin' handzy
Slip her the roofie candy
Now she my boo like Radley

Homegirl, you feelin' some stress?
I suggest you undress
Get on your kneez and confess
Oh yes.... Success!
I got her buzzin' off wine
She wanna love me long time
But I'm a baller y'all, I'm
About my dollarz, not dimez

T-take your pantz off
G-get your dance on
Take-take your pantz off
Get-g-get your dance on
Work it!
Work it!
Work it!
One, two, three, four

Here we go again
Everybody in the place get low again
Groupiez outside, pleaze show 'em in
Do you want some of this?
¡Fun/Yes!
¡Fun/Yes!
¡Fun/Yes!
Teriffic!
Track Name: Lazër Date II
How do you ask for a date? What about this?

Girl... You'z a girl, girl.

The way we met our eyez waz like a dream
Lady step inside my limouzine (yeah)
And let me take you out (you like this)
I iz a wealthy man (money)
I wantz to make you out (cherish)
I haz a healthy...

Tangerinez and whipped cream, don't be late
I iz gonna pick you up at eight (I get you)
I'll take you by the hand (ohhhh...)
And whisper in your ear (shhhh, listen)
That I will kill your man (stabbing... dead!)
If he inter...

Fearz iz normal, just relax my dear
Turn around and cover up your earz (screamz iz gonna happen)
And go ahead and cry (it'z okay, baby)
All thoze happy tearz (just let it out, sugarz)
'Cauze I'z a sexy guy (and what about that queef?)
And he'z a panzy queer

We're in love, it'z obvious
And there ain't no stopping us
So turn around and calmly just (tell 'em, Sneaky)
Get the hell up off deez nutz

(crying)

And now, goodnight. The end of a perfect evening.
Track Name: Monkey Bizness
Hey yo!
What we gotta do to let you monkeyz know?
We iz the most danger... ever!
A-hem, check check!
You know who it iz! It'z Lazër baby, The Sonz of Rhineland!
Sneaky! Yo?
Handle this monkey bizness!
Aiight!

Hammel be puchin' in, and once again
I hear somebody mumblin'
Somethin' tellz me it's a bunch of them
Monkey rapperz from the jungle gym (real talk)
Hey dudez, I take you back to the same zoo
Where you came from and cage you (ooh!)
I paid duez, you ain't the first lame crew who came through
And got played like GameCube
So why y'all want beef with us
When we can just leave you in the freakin' dust?
I ain't even gonna say your namez 'cause
Y'all just want me to make you famous
You call my phone but Sneaky don't answer
I don't need no backup dancerz
So go 'head, talk about my Speedo
Lazër stay paid like Uncle Rico
Briso!

Oh! It'z on like Donkey Kong!
And y'all don't want us to start namin' namez
But peep this though
It'z not about black or white
It'z about wack or tight
Lazër'z got the people behind us!

Frustrated'z an understatement (uh huh)
Y'all hate it that Lazër made it (word up)
Your weak rhymez never make a flesh wound
They stink like public restroomz
PP, tee-hee I make a joke
When I pee-pee in your Coke
Take a dump on Pikachu'z little khufi
And use it to wipe the dookie
Next guy, what more can I say to you, sir
But you'z a wack loser?
And your producer? Dude, your tunez are crap
Better grab that pooper scooper
'Cause I'ma super-duper beat machine uzer
Wack MC abuzer
Make a move, I'ma use the Lazër bazooka
To remove your medulla!

(giggling)

Whoa, hold up baby. Briso gotta crap some more magic.
Y'all don't want it with us!
Sneaky Sneak and Smoothy Smooth... the zookeeperz.
Behave and maybe we give you a free Lazër t-shirt!

(giggling)

Monkey see, monkey do
Monkeyz throwing monkey poo
La-Lazër throw it back at you
Lo-lock you up inside the zoo

So what'z left to say?
Like the logo, y'all are deaf, dumb and blind!
Hammel, get 'em one more time!

The blonde bomber'z back, and y'all got served
So call me Bentley Fonzworth
I'ma squash y'all nerdz just like a Starburst
And scrape you off of my Converse
You monkey retardz couldn't make a song worse
If you spit the wrong verse
I think y'all got cursed, your style is not worth
The food stampz outta your mom'z purse
Sneaky catch you outside of your concert
And have you sweatin' like you doin' some yardwork
I'm Uma, you the blonde nurse
In Kill Bill, and they gon' pick you up in a long hearse
Everybody weeping at y'all'z church
When Sneaky done speaking harsh wordz
So I'ma stop and put the mic down now,
My arm hurtz, y'all can suck my bratwurst
Track Name: Enigmaz of Mystery
You iz getting sleepy
Very sleepy
I iz feeling sneaky
... and very freaky

Mmmm... I've worked up quite an appetite
Summon the hermaphrodite!
When I blowz the conch he ridez in on an ostrich
With platez of sausage
Uh... what the f' iz theze?
Lazër only eatz endangered speciez
My apologiez! Silence!
Bring out the condor meat, jeez!
So hard to find good help nowadayz
But anywayz, welcome to Lazër castle
Masquerade costumez and candlez
Sample the fine cuizine
Orgazm of the sensez, y'nahmean?
People doin' kinky thingz with Vaseline
It'z a freaky scene

I control you, mind control you
My pet there iz no doubt you will obey
Look, my child! Behold the reclusive phantom:
Mr. Pee-Pee! Where did he go?

Dominate (obey)
Gravitate (to me)
Liberate (your mind)
Excavate (my butt)
Ride the snake (my pet)
Seal your fate (oh yes)
Frosted Flakez (what?)
They're grrrreat (oh yes!)

Excellent, she'z definitely
Getting ready, for heavy petting
In my sex swing, oopz I mean... let'z see
Girl I don't like you sexually (psych)
That waz reverse psychology
I shakez my pelvis like Elvis Presley
My hipz 'notize you to have wet dreamz
Like when you fell asleep on your jet-ski

I control you, mind control you
Briso iz the smartest man in the world
Yo Lazër Crow, I don't think they heared me!
The smartest man in the world!

I'm like a gargoyle, I'm like a Batman
You cannot believe my Dracula dance
The blood of Regis, the unicorn milk
I haz a boner, it'z shrouded in silk

Hey! Maybe you notice I iz a weird, goth enigma.
I will eat my edible undiez while you starez into my amulet from Hot Topic.

Enter the basement, where Briso be waiting
To spy on your boobz through the eyez of a painting
And Hammel iz hangin' from hookz so I lookz like a raven
Aside from the cape he iz naked
Your hormonez iz ragin' and anxiously anticipatin'
An amazin' ass-assination
What Sneaky be sayin' with alliteration iz basically Lazër be ready for bangin'

Mezmerize (obey)
Cloze your eyez (for me)
Hypnotize (your mind)
Sodomize (your butt)
Magnetize (oh yes)
Jazzercize (and stretch!)
Samuraiz (bad-ass!)
Hammer time! (U can't touch this)
Track Name: Honey Beez
Beez. Beez. Beez. Beez. Girl beez. Bzzzz.
Metaphorz. Girlz. Beez. Bee metaphorz.
Girlz iz beez. Beez. Get it? Beez. It'z clever.

The honey bee is a social creature.

Oh, look at that bumble booty
Yo Briso, look at that boom-boom bumble booty
It'z moving all around!
Look at that boom-boom bumble booty
Look at that boom-boom bumble booty movin' all around

Lazër iz gonna freeze
Iced out on 23'z
We sippin' bubbliez
We grow a money treez
Honiez with double-D'z
Up in the club with theze
MCz with tonz of G'z
We call 'em honey beez

Money pleaze, look at theze loveliez
Theze honey beez buzzin' in front of me?
Becauze it be us who they come to see
The Dub-V'z got 'em in the club for free
The company'z payin' us a bunch of cheeze
No wonder she'z tryin' to get under theze
Undiez, she want luxuriez
But what she needz iz a double-team

She wantz to be with me tonight
She'z buzzin' me
They want to be with us tonight
Theze honey beez

Lazër iz gonna freeze
Iced out on 23'z
We sippin' bubbliez
We grow a money treez
Honiez with double-D'z
Up in the club with theze
MCz with tonz of G'z
We call 'em honey beez

First message:
Briso? Hey, it's me, Kelli.
I had a really good time the other night.
Listen, hey... I'm a man. I never told you.

Look at that boom-boom bumble booty
I want to sting it!
Look at that boom-boom bumble booty moving all around
Look at that boom-boom bumble booty
Hey Briso!
Wait. Look at that boom-boom...Yo Briso!
What?!?
Can we take 'em to the bridge?!

Chart-toppin', heart-stoppin'
Hottiez flockin', bodiez throbbin'
Cauzin' problemz, it'z the modern
Sid Vicious and Johnny Rotten
Ma, we haz so much in common
You'z into goin' shoppin'
We'z into salad tossin'
Gettin' off and cherry poppin'

Slave-babez wanna get set free
My crew be too sexy
Super-phat, über-impact flowz
Inhibition? Gotta let that go
If you really wanna impress me
Turn around, break it down, let'z see
How bad you wanna get that dough?
Make your booty bounce like a big fat hoe

Lazër iz gonna freeze
Iced out on 23'z
We sip on bubbliez
And grow a money treez
Honiez with double-D'z
Up in the tub with theze
MCz with tonz of G'z
We call 'em honey beez

Lazër, The Sonz of Rhineland
Baka! Baka! Baka!
What y'all know about that?
Yo, Sneakz! Fall back!
Say what, B? I'ma take us out!
Aiight son, take us out
Yo, we out!
We... we out!
You sure we out?
Stop! We out.
Track Name: Party Kidz
Let's go on to the next dance!
Yay!

Yo, now put your right leg in
Put it in, y'all!
Now take your right leg out
Take it out, y'all!
Now put your left leg in
Nice kickz!
There's no stopping you!

We all iz cool
Just be yourself!
We not a foolz
We stay in school!
We follow rulez!
Safety first!
You're warmed up and ready to dance!

Bein' the cool iz eazy
Don't be a sleazy cheezy
You learn the A, B Ceeziez
You be the smart for sheezy
Then you can make a CD
Awesome like me and Sneaky
Get all the moniez eazy
And buy a SUV!

Big B on the track with Sneaky (Sneaky)
See me on the plazma TV (TV)
Lazër got Blu-ray DVDz
iPhonez and mp3z ('p3z)
Chillin' out with Santa, just got back
Playstation 4? Yeah, we got that
Say no to drugz, they iz not wack
You mean they iz wack, can I get a Big Mac?
Everyday it'z Mickey D'z and Wendy'z
I'm the Burger King, feel me?
But party kidz gotta eat their vegetablez
Do their math homework with decimalz
Don't let no pederast pet your ass all sexual
Or touch your testiclez
All my peepz dare to dream
'Cauze we iz special
Yes you can!

I get a girlfriend eazy
I make her out for sheezy
I tame a dragon eazy
He never try to eat me
I doez a slam dunk eazy
Nobody dunk on meezy
I stealed a firetruck eazy
All aboard for fun!

Yay! Alright, buckle up for trip!
Yay! Uh... oh nutsack.

Airwolf! 10-4! Come in!
Uh, Briso? What you iz doing?
I haz to call Airwolf. Firetruck getted stucked in quicksandz!
Okay, Airwolf don't fly hizself.
Oh, now you tellz me.

Uh...
Party kidz! Y'all like fun?
I like fun! I like fun!
Party kidz! Y'all like gamez?
I like gamez! I like gamez!
Party kidz! What the dealio?
I'm fat. I'm in a wheelchair!
Party kidz! Let'z work.
Grind that ass! Grind that ass!

Oh no! What'z going on?
Keep dancin'!
Uh... I'm rolling!
Briso! Oh!
Keep dancin'!
What'z wrong with you?
Uh... spiderz in my brain!
Hammel, make it stop!
Stop!

Oh no...
Bein' the cool iz eazy
I know my A-B-threeziez
Uh... my girlfriend haz fleaz! (oh my god)
Uh... then you can make a CD
Get all the moniez eazy
What a workout!
Track Name: Doggie Nasty
(Viper armed)

Uh, yeah. Bright Eyes.
Yeah, hey!
Hammel's not doin' your album.
What?!
Sorry, babe.
No!
Ha ha! Wuss.
Whoa, new Lazër! Daddy likey! Ha ha.
Scoot over bro. Hey, where's the button at? This one?
Yes.
Sweet. 'Sup dogs?
What's up? Hello.
Sounds like another banger. Now drop that beat again and check this.
See, these kids today...
They ain't breakin' their piggy banks open for some G-rated, Mickey Mouse Club, happy-clappy crap.
So let's thug this thing out, aiight? Let's flop out some dirt-dog nasty.

Okay... Uh...
All these hot ladiez got me in heat
Be good girl and I give you a treat
Lie down, roll over, sit up, beg
Ma, you know you wanna hump my leg
Now can't nobody make you moan like me
But ain't no telling where my bone might be (oh yeah)
Move your paw up above my knee
Now you barking up the right tree

Ha ha ha! Hammel, that was off the chain!
Now Briso, we need something filthy here. Think Snoop Dogg. Kick it.
I want to drink a pee-pee water from the commode.
You dumbass!

Now people call me dog 'cauze I chase the cat
Lickin' on the kitten iz my favorite snack
Sniff around back while I'm tastin' that
Oh no! Lemme out! I gotta take a crap!
Take you in the dog house, where we alone (huh?)
Lay you on a long couch, bury the bone (oh yeah!)
Climb up on top of me while
Briso give it to you doggystyle (he he)

I want to make a shit, eat it and lick your face!
Owoooooooh!
Okay, you're one sick puppy Briso.
How 'bout you guys do some back-and-forth here.
And Hammel, switch the beat up.

Puppy dog eyez, big surprize
Bone only come in extra-large size
Slobber on it so my tail can wag
Take me home in a doggie bag
Ruff!
Wag your tail ma, wag your tail
Ruff!
Wag your tail ma, wag your tail
Ruff!
Bitch, I said wag your tail!
Now pant

Doggone, all y'all are fine (uh huh)
Peep how my dog collar shine
Dog tag be a dollar sign (that's right)
I piss on a bitch and call her mine (nice!)
Real dogz get down on all fourz (okay)
I lift my leg, you lift yourz (no doubt)
Knick knack, patty whack, fuck all that
Suck a milkbone while I sniff your crack

Oh ho ho...yes! That's what I'm talkin' about, nasty!
That's what the kids want today. You've been to the roller rinks and the mall.
You've seen the teeny bopper girls makin' the corn-dogs and wondered what kind of panties they got on.
What?
No, no! I'm sayin'... I'm just sayin' they shouldn't be at the mall, whorin' around.
They need to be at home with a babysitter, getting disciplined.
Somebody to spank their little heinies... and get 'em in bed.
What?
No no no, not like that! I'm just saying... they need to be loved. They need love.

The hounds are comin' out
You're not a...
Y-You're not a...
Y-Y-You're not a nice dog

Doggie nasty, dirty stinky
Doggie nasty, dirty horny
Track Name: Get Up for the Get Down (feat. Ol' Farte)
Microphone checka...
Let's go!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Ready? Okay!
Get up!
Get down!
Get up!
Get down!
Get up!
Get down!
Get up!
Right now!

Well done, ladies. Now get back in your cages!
(screams)
Shut up! Now start kissing each other a whole bunch.
Wonderful! And now, raps!

Hovercrafting, everlasting
Subwooferz in back iz blasting
Get out and your girl iz dashing
Up to us to do a flashing
Quit your crying mister baby
She will be back later (maybe)
No reason for you to hate me
Not my fault she want to rape me
Bouncer let us in for free
'Cauze Lazër be the VIPz
Everybody stare at me
Uh Briso, you should X-Y-Z
Don't be scared, it'z not a ghost
Zip it up man, sorry folkz
Come here girl, I dance you close
B-R-I-S-Oh that'z gross

Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody stand up, don't sit down
Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody get up for the get down
Nobody better never ever sit down

Get up, mami drop that thing down
Rhineland sonz takin' over your town
Get up, or we lay your ass down
Lazër Crow gonna shoot the whole crowd!

All I wanna do iz make a funky dance for you
From 1-2 buckle my shoe, to Electric Boogaloo
So we dance for a few, but then I notice someone new
It'z your friend, she'z getting jealous, so I let her dance me too (ooh!)
After we iz through I introduce you to my crew
(Hi Hammel) No, I iz Briso, I wear red, Hammel wear blue
One for me and one for you, which of theze two should I do?
Wait ladiez! Where you going? He was joking! Sorry dude.
Ah!

Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody stand up, don't sit down
Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody get up for the get down
Nobody better never ever sit down

Get up, shorty drop that thing down
My band gonna take over your town
Lazër gonna burn the place down
Ice von Shredula rock their face now!

Lonely girl in the club, no one to dance
You take a glance, see me standing in my b-boy stance
I advance, I iz handsome, time for romance!
Take a chance! Girl you know you want to get in my pantz
Let’s dance
Hey, hey, hey!
Let’s dance
Hey, hey, hey!
Let’s dance
Hey, hey, hey!
Romance
Hey, hey, hey
We wear no pantz

Look people, one must get up before one may get down.
Once you get up, the hard part is over.
Seems my hard part is getting up over here!
Neat!

Shake it like a naked lady behind the wall (uh huh)
That have a hole in it where the men can see it all
Celebrating, earth iz quaking, we iz losing control (oh no!)
Someone call me butter 'cauze I be on a roll (that's whoa!)

Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody stand up, don't sit down
Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody get up for the get down
Everybody get up for the get down
Maximum!

Girls in the club I can see
Wanna leave their man so that they can be with me
Take your pantz, throw them down
Wave your handz, make a moaning sound

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Get down!

Let'z go, now put your handz up
Let'z go, now put your handz down
Let'z go, now put your handz up
Now put your handz down, now put 'em back up, what?!
Let'z go, now put your handz up
Let'z go, now put your handz down
Let'z go, now put your handz up
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!

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